SMS and Jokes

Txt insults (SMS)

Them: You: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster? Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons. Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop

If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN dogs obey wen u shout @ dem dogs dont shop u can giv away ur dogs children any guy can get a good lookin dog!

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY try again again maybe you are just not sexy? one more time hey don't force it ugly!!!

As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

 Do I look like a damn people person?

Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

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SMS