SMS and Jokes

SMS One liners (SMS)

Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?

How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!

Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H

Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.

Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person - Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly, so get lost!

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you

A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone

I went to ur house justnow - can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.

Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...

I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.

Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'

I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...! Nice Ass.

How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!

Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!

You are here: X

In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to the car cuz it's too heavy.

Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick" Boss asks: "How sick are u?" Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"

Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs and all that's between!

Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!

U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs and we can multiply!

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

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SMS