SMS and Jokes

Riddle messages (SMS)

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

The jogger who overslept found himself running late.

no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!

If my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would you visit me between the holidays?

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?

Why does a nun never wears a bra ? ............ God supports everything...

What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

What is the velocity of the darkness ?

How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!

when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley

Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.

How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite

When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.

Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is useful.

Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.

Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.

Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.

What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside

What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.

why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are between brackets

Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.

What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!

Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.

Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.

What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.

Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke

When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

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