SMS and Jokes

Indecent jokes (SMS)

This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!

Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!

I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!

NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!!

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

BOY : May I hold your hand
? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy

Advantages of breast milk A. No need to boli B. Cat cannot steal C.available in attractive containers D.Liked by all age groups E.Ek Par Ek FREE

Cocktail Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum!

satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!

Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock!

Pringles Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!!

Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo

Pair of tights? HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!

Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit!

Horny Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

Hickory, dickory, dock Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed!

Down on her Knees Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job!

Oral sex Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!

NewsFlash *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for
1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !

U and the Pope do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)

Sex, Drugs

Kiss Me Kiss's r blown

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SMS