SMS and Jokes

Good quotation messages (SMS)

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep. Im not half as thunk as u drink. I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and everyone driving faster than u is a maniac?

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight?

Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

"If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"

"Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony."

"At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."

"It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't."

"There's no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it."

All I ever wanted is what others have.

A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition.

It is better to be fair than to be popular!

Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment.

I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.

Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John Lennon

Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist.

A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy

A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening.

The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.

People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed.

Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.

What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?"

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