SMS and Jokes

General jokes (SMS)

Abracadabra Nope, ur still ugly!

2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'

Hw do U occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up!

Y did T farmer win a noBl prize? Bcoz he was out st&ing in his field!

Wht do U cll a dog with no legs? It doesn't m@ter wot U cll him, he ain't gonna cum.

I went 2 by sum camouflage trousers T oTr day But I cdnt find NE.

Y dnt lobsters shR? Bcoz Ty're shellfish.

T jogger who overslept found himself running... l@e.

Woman asks a barman 'Cn I hv a double entendre please?' so T barman gave her 1.

I had a ploughman's lunch T oTr day. He wasn't V happy.

Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike? Rev.

Chelsea signed 2 players from Icel&. Ranieri said 'If Ty R no good he wll try Sainsburys.

Wht do elephants hv for dinner? An hour, just like T rest of T animals.

Wht do U cll a triple barrel shotgun? A trifle.

Wht do Mexicns hv under Tir carpets? Underlay! Underlay!

Wht do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang? A bad smell U cnt get rid of.

Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.

Wot do U do if a blonde throws a grenade @ U? Take T pin out & throw it back.

I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f@he

Spell hungry horse in 4 letters. M T G G.

My wife dresses 2 kill T only problem is th@ she cooks in T same manner.

Hw do U kp an idiot amused? W@ch ths message until it goes away!

Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But don't worry... I'm sure science Will come up With something To help you.

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course adonkey to pay her bills!!

Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm.... still searching.......no brains found

Mary had a little lamb The doctor fainted!!!

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny well...Enough about ME! How about you?

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain

I wanted to send you something that would make you smile... But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox

God made man and then rested, God made women and then no one rested

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SMS