SMS and Jokes

Funny messages (SMS)

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here
"

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought :

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going
??

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

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SMS