SMS and Jokes

Erotic jokes (SMS)

3 GOOD MANNERS 3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.

PICTURE Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

COCUNUT Wha

SHOWTIME Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!

SEX MACHINE When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.

CARS Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'

BAR STOOL How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.

WE CAN MULTIPLY Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

GLOW IN THE DARK I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark

STUPID PYJAMAS Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!

RING I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

SAGGY BOOB What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

COVER ME What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'

Suspense how do you keep an idiot in suspense
?? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep, isn't life a drag? coz they're all burning in a field he's got no sheep to shag

Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie

Little Miss Drugy little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.

IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth

Cock Sucker Detecotor This is a cock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... COCK SUCKER !!

Red Riding Hood Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!

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SMS