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The Classic Shit List (Jokes)

The Ghost Shit You know you've shit. Theres shit on the toilet paper, but there is nothing in the bowl

Teflon Coated Shit Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel a thing. No traces of shit on the paper. You have a look in the bowl to be sure you did it

Gooey Shit This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit You are all done wiping your arse and you're about to stand up when you realise you have got to do some more

Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit This is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit You shit so much you loose 2 stone

Right Now Shit You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

The Commode Choker Shit This shit is so big that you know it wont go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. This kind of shit usually happens at somebody else's house

Wish Shit You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times but not a shit in site

Snake Shit This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Floater Shit) Even after the third flush, its still floating in there.

Mexican Food Shit You know its safe to start eating again when your asshole stops burning

The Frightened Turtle The kind that just pokes its head out then goes back in again.

The Bungee Shit The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water

The Crippler The kind of shit where you have been sitting on the toilet so long your body goes numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber This one doesn't matter how many times you flush the toilet it always seems to find the surface again

The Incredible Hulk Shit The king of shit that's sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice its size.

The Jack The Ripper Shit The kind of shit that yanks out the hair or your ass as it pushes its way out

Dirty Bowl Shit The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, similar to an avalanche but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over thetoilet bowl.

The Never Ending Shit Its the kind of shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea soup, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out.

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