SMS and Jokes

Quick Sex Jokes (Jokes)

Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.

Q. Where do fags park? A. In the rear.

Q. What's the difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife? A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.

Q. What does a female snail say during sex? A. Faster, faster, faster!

Q. What is the noisiest thing in the world? A. Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.

Q. What's red and blue with a long string? A. A smurfette with her period.

Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit? A. A pubic hair.

Q. Define "Egghead:" A. What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

Q. How can you tell if you have acne? A. If the blind can read your face.

Q. Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand? A. Wool!

Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!

Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.

Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.

Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins

Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

Q. What's the definition of trust? A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra? A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay ? A. They don't have time.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg ? A. They don't stop for directions.

Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? A. He decided to stick it out for one more year!

Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? A. The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

Q: How do you know when your wife is really dead? A: Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant A. Marry it.

Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good? A. Give it a nipple.

Q. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? A. Fur traders.

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A. A cherry float.

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? A.When his hand caught on fire.

Q. What?s better than a rose on your piano? A. Tulips on your organ.

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Jokes