SMS and Jokes

Quick Sex Jokes (Jokes)

Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.

Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. What's the difference between love and herpes? A. Love doesn't last forever.

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A. Call her and tell her.

Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Q. Why do women have small feet? A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to.

Q. How do men sort out their laundry? A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.

Q. What's the difference between a man and ET? A. ET phoned home.

Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet? A. It doesn't need cleaning.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread? A: Dill-dough

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A: Lickalotopuss.

A. There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A. A Mechanic.

Q. What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A. Pimp.

Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A. Polaroids.

Q. Why are women are like tires? A. There's always a spare.

Q. What's brown and sits on a piano bench? A. Beethoven's First Movement.

Q. What do you call a nun with a sex change operation? A. A tran-sister.

Q. What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A. I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!

Q. Why do women wear black underwear? A. They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

Q. How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station? A. Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.

Q. What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? A. At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

Q. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A. A salad shooter

Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man? A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

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Jokes