SMS and Jokes

Mommy Mommy (Jokes)

Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big. Mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!

Son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head? Mom: Don't worry about them. Now take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.

Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl? Mom: Shut up and flush.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! Mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles? Mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper! Mom: Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad. Mom: stop complaining! Just eat it! Son: Mommy, Mommy! Mom: What is it now! Son: Do I have to eat the beak as well?

Son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs? Mom: Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again? Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away? Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.

Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now! Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!

Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? Mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!

Son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child? Mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere? Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

Son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me. Mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles! Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want my hair braided. Mom: Shut up and lift the other arm.

Son: Mommy, mommy, can I have a cookie? Mom: Yes, the cookies are on the top shelf. Son: But mommy, I haven't got any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookie...

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet? Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute. Son: Can Granny take me? Mom: Why? son:Her hand shakes.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out! Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then

Son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress? Mom: You know it won't fit over your iron lung.

Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Mom: Shut up Albert....

Son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't? Mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!

Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe! Mom: Good, it's working.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas? Mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.

Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us? Mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs! Son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base.

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Jokes